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Previous Journal Two
July 28, 2001

As another month draws to a close, I look back at all the things I wanted to do but didn't have the time or I was just so busy with something else, or, just didn't feel like doing it at the time. I also think to myself that in this day and time, we all move way too fast for our own good. We look at our children or our spouses or our friends and think, "We'll have time for it tomorrow" or "I'm busy right now, maybe later," or any number of excuses that we may create just because we think there will always be time later. How many of you are procrastinators out there? I know that I'm one, big time. I am always putting something off until tomorrow! But, what if tomorrow never came? What if, in an instant, you knew that tomorrow was never going to come? What would you do right at that very instant? Would you make a list of everything you have ever wanted to do and start doing them, one by one? Or, would it be to say something that you have always wanted to say to someone, something that you never had the courage to say, something that might make someone's day, that might tell them just exactly how you truly feel? Maybe it would be to hold someone's hand, touch their face, give a hug or even just a smile! Maybe it would be to tell someone that you are sorry!
I myself can think of many things that I would like to do and I can think of so many things that need to be said, things that I have kept locked deep inside for a very long time.
If I were to give advice, I would tell you to grasp that moment as if there will never be another tomorrow! Do what is in your heart and say whatever is in your heart, to all those who it needs to be done or said to. Don't let tomorrow never come! Do it today, say it today! What a way to end the day and what peace it brings to the soul! Don't wait for tomorrow, it may never get here!

August 23, 2001

By now, most kids have started school! It is when a mother's nightmare ends and a wonderful dream begins, at least that is how I look at it. Now, I'm not saying that in a mean way, by any means! I am sure there are some parents out there that may think the same way. It is when you no longer have to listen to how bored your kids are because they have nothing to do and no one to hang around. They just sit in their rooms vegetating in front of their televisions or stand behind you, watching your every move.
I myself am getting ready to go back to school on Monday the 27th and I am very excited. Most people think I am crazy for going back to school and should be locked up or at least given a psychological exam as to why on earth I would want to go back to school after all these years. Well, I tried it twice when I was just out of high school and it was not for me. I had better things to do with my time! But! now I can go back just because I can and just because I want to. I absolutely love school! I can't seem to get enough of it. I do have some people telling me they admire me for going back to school after all this time and taking on the full schedule that I have, being a full time student. And, I do day care five days a week, anywhere from eight to fifteen hours a day. How can I do this and go to school and be in two places at once? Hmmmm! This is when I enlist my husband Sam and his mom Mary! Very simple really! I have some saying they don't know how I do all I do! My answer to this is, that I am not a super mom, a super student, or super anything! I am what I tell everyone, "I am just me!" I love doing what I do, well, most of the time. Having a house full of kids isn't easy all the time but I don't mind the majority of the time.
I am, like I said, glad that school has started for the kids. It is a time for seeing old friends who have been gone all summer and for making new friends who may have just joined the school. Most of all, it is a time for learning and growing! Some understand and accept school and others will fight you tooth and nail about attending! So, all you moms and dads out there, enjoy the peace and quiet that has taken over your homes. And, for you kids out there, I promise that at one point in your lives, you will enjoy school, if even for just a short moment! Use it well and help it to be a learning and growing experience for you! One day, you will have kids of your own. Hmmm! now that's another story in itself!

September 1, 2001

I am very proud to announce that my poem #5, "WILL YOU WAKE?" has finally been printed on the Straight From The Heart Web Site. I have been waiting for this for a very long time. I was completely unaware that it had been printed and had stored the newsletter I receive from Straight From The Heart into a miscellaneous file to read at a later date. It wasn't until I received an e-mail from a very nice woman in Connecticut who had read my poem and loved it very much. I then went into my miscellaneous file to view the newsletter and found my poem had indeed been printed. If you would like to view the website, it is: http://www.straightfromtheheartlist.com and it will take you to the home page. From there you may click on a link to your left entitled, Today's story, this will take you to another page where you will click on the link at the bottom, entitled, Kisses From Heaven By Lynelle Dawson. It will then take you to her story first which is a very wonderful story, please read it before you view my poem. If you scroll down the page after reading her story, you will view my poem. I hope you will stop by and visit the Straight From The Heart Web Site, they have some truly wonderful stories there and I am sure you will enjoy them very much so. I feel very privileged that they accepted my poem and printed it. I do not boast about being printed, but only that a poem that I wrote for my brother so long ago, is being read my many people and I am receiving comments about it from those who are reading it. Thank you Michael Powers,(owner of Straight From The Heart), for your compassion and your patience!

September 21, 2001

I have waited before writing this because I know what I want to say but not sure how it may come out. A little over a week ago, a tragedy struck our great nation. It is one of unbelievable shock and horror. It is one that our nation will never forget, but will recover from and will be stronger because of it. The only thing that really gets to me is the fact that we as a nation, come together only when a tragedy strikes. We are loving and give so much more attention to one another when someone has died or has been tragically injured. Wouldn't it be so much easier if we could practice this behavior every day of our lives? Wouldn't it be so much easier if we could take the time to visit with a neighbor whom we have lived next door to for years but didn't have the time or couldn't take the time to visit? Can you even imagine what effect it might have on their lives? We are sometimes so busy with our every day lives that we forget the impact that we might have on others, again, if we only took the time!

October 17, 2001

Time seems to be completely passing me by these days! I am so preoccupied with doing day care and going to school, running errands for here at home and numerous other things that before I know it, almost a month has already gone by. On September 28th, Sam and myself, his mom, Chris, and Sammy and girlfriend Dani all went to California (NOT YET COMPLETE)

December 3, 2001

Recently I made a huge mistake by sending out an e-mail telling people to delete a file which I was told had a virus and later discovered that this file was a vital part of every computer. Being the person that I am, I wrote a letter of apology and gave instructions as to how to restore this file which was no big deal unless you are one of those who cannot find forgiveness and do not understand that it can be restored with no problems whatsoever. I had an annonymous person sign my guest book who I thought could have had the decency to give their real name, tell me that I caused one of their friends great agony because of the e-mail that I sent out. I believe that what I did was an honest mistake and I took measures to correct the situation as fast as I could. Others who had deleted this file had no problem in restoring it, just as I did and it leaves no lasting effects on your computer unless of course you don't follow the directions properly. So, to that person that could not tell me their name, if I have offended you, I am truly sorry and I have already apologized for what I did. The great thing about having your own site is that you can delete any negative comments any time you choose. I have done this becaue my site is to bring joy to people and had nothing to do with the e-mail that I sent out. If others choose to say negative things about me and what I did, please respond in an e-mail and not on my site, either way I can delete you. If I were to respond negatively, which I wouldn't do because I believe in forgiveness, I would not sign my name annonymously, I would be open and honest.

July 27, 2002

It is hard to believe that it has been so long since I made a journal entry! The time seems to fly by so fast. The year is more than half gone and it has been one of tears, smiles, and laughter!
Last night I received an e-mail from someone whom I have not spoken to in about seven years. I have not yet found out how this person found me but I am very happy that she did. Her name is Dena Carr and she and I were inseparable at one time, many years ago in high school. We were best friends, sisters, and even enemies back then but having her find me has made my heart smile and has helped me see that no matter how you parted, whether it was on good or bad terms, things will always work out the way they are supposed to in the end. True friendships never die, never actually leave or actually disappear completely if that friendship is meant to be. You will always find a way back to each other! Dena and I have so much catching up to do but I see a whole life time ahead of us to do it! Thank you Dena, for walking back into my life and making a part of it complete, once again! I love you more than you will ever know and have truly missed you!
If there is someone that you know who had great meaning in your life and you have not seen or talked to that person in days, weeks, months, even years, I wish for all of you to find each other once again. I know that you will feel it in your hearts, that your life, also, will once again be complete.

August 6, 2002

Have you ever wondered how someone that you have never actually met, could leave such an impact on your life? I have met many people in person, through e-mail and there are some I have met in real life that really left an impression on me. Those are teachers! One is my Junior High school homeroom/art teacher, Mrs. Toni Steele whom I have admired for many years. She left quite an impression on me, one that has stayed with me throughout the years. Some thought she was very stern and I might have at some point in time but I always admired her. She is truly a wonderful person. Another is my High school English teacher, Miss Montelius, she too, is a wonderful person and taught me much about English and she also has left a great impression on my life. I have thought about them over the years and have been in contact with Mrs. Steele for quite sometime and just recently I have acquired an e-mail address for Miss Montelius. Another English instructor is Dr. Shelly Trusty-Murphy, whom everyone just calls Shelly. She has got to be one of the most energetic people I know. I have taken two English Courses from her and enjoyed both of them very much. I hope to take another in the future. She is without a doubt one of the best instructor's in College that I have had. She has taught me so much about writing essays. (This is a separate entry in itself which I will write about another time!) There are three other people that I have never met, except for through e-mail and they have had such a huge impact in my life that I can say that I love these three people very much! I worry about them when I don't hear from them, cry for them when one is ill and would actually give up my life if it meant that they would be alright. These three people are so precious, so giving, so loving and I could go on and on! Their names are Jack, Pat, and Norma! If you believe in angels on earth, these three are angels in disguise! They make a difference in a lot of lives and the bond between them is so awesome! I have been able to talk on the phone with Pat and I only wish that I could with Jack and Norma! Pat is truly a wonderful person and I wish all that reads this could have a chance to know her, and to know Jack and Norma! I feel very fortunate, very blessed to have them in my life. One day I hope to meet all three in person but until then, I am happy to be able to correspond through e-mail. I thank God for bringing them into my life! If ever there were three people who deserve happiness and a world of blessings, it is these three special people.

August 25, 2002

Once again school is about to start and it seems as if summer vacation has just begun! I am once again also running around trying to get last minute cleaning done, laundry, and also things that need put in their place. I start school tomorrow night. This semester, I am taking, "World Literature" on Monday night's from 7:00 p.m. to 9:45 p.m., "Nutrition" on Wednesday mornings from 9:00 a.m. to 11:45 a.m. and my other two classes are internet classes and for both of these I must put in nine hours a week for each one. These two internet classes are, "Fundamentals of College Math" and "Physical Geography" and I can do them at any time as long as I keep up with the reading and taking quizzes every week. This is a total of almost twenty four hours of classes per week! Wow! I have never taken internet classes before so I was completely unaware of the time involved. I think I will be a basket case for sure at the end of this semester, being the procrastinator that I am! Hmmmmm! Maybe I need to remedy that, wouldn't you say?
My son doesn't start school until Wednesday! Something's wrong with this picture already!!! Mom goes to school before him?
I am actually looking forward to going back to school! Not too many people think I am sane anymore for wanting to continue going to school but I look at it this way, I am doing something I have wanted to do for a very long time! I am going on my fourth year and will hopefully have a degree by the end of the school year. There are some out there that have not had the opportunity to return to school. There may be many reasons for them not returning, anywhere from money to pay for it, or, because they think they are too old to do it. Well, I am here to say that it doesn't matter if you are 47 like myself, or 147, I say, "Go for it!" What better time is there to return to school, than when your kids are grown and your husband is grown (heehee!) and you need a change in your life! If it's money you are worried about, there are students loans and there are also grants. They are easy to apply for and make going back to school much easier on the pocketbook! Don't let time pass you by if going back to school is what you truly want! I did and I am a better person for doing so! I feel better about myself in many ways! So, the next time a thought pops into your head about going to school, I say, "Follow your heart!"

August 25, 2002

Wow! Not very often do I make a double entry in my journal on the same day! I was completely surprised by a phone call from my Junior High School Homeroom/Art teacher Toni Steele! It was a wonderful surprise to hear her voice, as she said, "It has been way too long!" It was nice catching up with her and finding out about her ranch in Mojave. It sounds very big and very beautiful! She sounds well and I have missed talking with her. I usually write to her and since she is not a writer, she calls me in answer to my letters. Life seems to be moving wonderfully for her and I am very happy for her. I told her I was in the process of writing a newspaper article about the Gardena High School students who have found one another after so long and she wants me to send her a copy of it when it is printed in our weekly newspaper. There were some that thought she was very mean, but, I don't look at it that way. I always tried to see her side and see what it was like to keep 28 to 30 students in line. She remembers things that I forgot a long time ago. One instance would be when I decided to try and get our homeroom class to sponsor a needy child in another country. Our class wanted to do it and she was all for it as well, but, the principal would not allow it. She said that was the one thing she remembered the most about me, how I cared for others. What I remember is that when I was out of high school, I would drop by the junior high to see her as often as time permitted. But, one day when I went after not going for awhile, I was kept from going inside by very a tall chain link fence with locks. That was a sad day for me! To see the junior high school that I graduated from, having to take precautions from letting anyone enter the school during school hours. And, with the fence, my visits were brought to a stand still. To me she is truly an amazing person and I love her very much.