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Previous Journal Three
September 29, 2002

It is so hard to believe that Fall is already upon us! It is raining here in my beautiful little town and to me it is a most beautiful and welcome sight! It has been a very dry year and we welcome the rain. Fall is my most favorite time of year, beside's Spring! The air becomes cleaner, the leaves on trees turn a different color or in some cases, they lose all their leaves completely, which is what happened to my poor pine tree earlier in the year. We were hit by heavy winds and one minute I had a beautiful green pine tree and the next, I had a naked pine tree, the only one on our block as a matter of fact. But, that's okay, it's unique!
The air smells so fresh when it rains and we are hoping for a good snow this year. I myself think we will have an early winter, but, other's think we won't have much of one at all. If it does snow, we are usually snowed in here in our tiny town because most of the Passes are closed from heavy snow to heavy winds. I myself don't mind this at all, I happen to love my little town here nestled around the mountains. It's a beautiful sight when it snows, every mountain around pure with freshly fallen snow. It is indeed a sight to see!

October 10, 2002

I've always said there is never a dull moment in my house! I say this because, there is always something going on, something to do, so many surprises laying in wait!
I've always loved surprises! And, on Monday, I was doubly surprised! My oldest son Sammy came over to tell us that girlfriend Dani is expecting a baby. This was the biggest surprise of the day! Actually, I can't really say it was completely a surprise, it was kind of inevitable. Yesterday, a doctor's appointment confirmed the pregnancy and Sam and I can't be happier, myself especially. Why? Because, this grandbaby will be my first one and Sam's fifth, actually sixth, but I will get to that in a minute! (Do you think he will start feeling his age? heehee).
My son, the daddy to be is on cloud nine! Tomorrow is Sammy's 22nd birthday, what a great birthday gift! He and Dani will make such wonderful parents and everyone is so happy for them!
Now, I say, actually the sixth one for Sam, because on Monday we also got a phone call from my stepdaughter Debbie. She, too is expecting a baby next year, another boy! This will make boy number three for her! She is the best mom to her little ones, never really raising her voice at all to them and they are quite a handful!
My third and final surprise came today by mail! It was a letter from my youngest son Christopher's god parents, Bob and Paula. We haven't heard from them in a good number of years! It seems that they have had a few setbacks themselves, healthwise, but are doing much better. It was good to hear from them and Paula sent me two e-mail addresses so that we can keep in contact. I wrote her a very long e-mail catching them up on everything, only to have it returned saying the one address did not exist. So, since I don't give up too easily, I sent a quick test e-mail to see if they receive it. As yet, I have not heard anything! If all else fails, I will be writing to them as I had already planned to do so, since I have an updated school picture of Chris to send to them.
So, it has been a week of excitement in our house, pleasant one's at that!

October 12, 2002

I failed to mention in my last journal entry that there was actually four surprises, instead of three. About a week ago, the local paintball team was selling raffle tickets, giving away a number of prizes, while also building up money for supplies for their team. Well, Sam and I bought four tickets which came to $20.00, five dollars for each ticket. Monday afternoon we got a phone call stating that we had won first prize which was a quarter of beef! Yup, you read it right, that's a lot of meat. Today the meat was delivered to us all cut up and packaged! There must have been about thirty or so pounds of ground beef, rib steaks, roasts, stew meat, and ribs. Sammy and Dani came over for dinner and we bbq'd steaks and oh my goodness, were they ever delicious. We can certainly tell that the place the meat came from is definitely not where Safeway buys their meat. We sent Sammy and Dani home with plenty of meat! It is so good to see my future daughter-in-law actually eating! She has never been the biggest eater but being in her present condition has helped her appetite which we are so happy to see. We stocked two refrigerator freezers with meat, won't be doing any meat shopping for awhile, at least not for beef. Our pictures were taken with the paintball team and should appear in next weeks local newspaper. It's the best $20.00 investment we ever made!
November 25, 2002

"I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning."
- J.B. Priestly -

When I read this quote, I immediately had to place it on my web site! I guess it should go on my Quote's Page, but I find it more fitting right here. They say that New Year's is the time to start anew, but actually every day that you wake up and see the sun rising in the sky, see your loved one's around, see them smiling at you, see your friend's or hear from them or even meet a stranger on the street, you know that it is your chance to start anew! It's your chance to take back anything that was said in anger the day before and just throw it behind you because that was in the past, that was yesterday and today is a brand new day. Each day you are given the chance to start your life over again, maybe not from infancy or from your teens into adulthood, but the chance to see the world in a whole new way! Life to me has always been precious because like some, I have lost many people that I love, some by death, some by choosing to not be in my life, and some by accident which I don't mean by death, just that I have lost contact with them unintentionally. Each day that I wake up is my chance to look at what I said or did the day before and make sure I don't make the same mistake again today. Isn't it wonderful that you are given each day to make a brand new start? And, with "perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning!" The magic I see in the morning is wonderful! It isn't that I can transform something into what I want or snap my fingers and be taken a million miles away from all the tasks at hand that face me on a day to day basis! The magic I see or feel is the air that I breathe each morning! Today is especially wonderful for me, it's my 48th birthday! I woke up this morning and almost forgot it was my birthday, until my husband told me, "It's your birthday, isn't it? Happy Birthday!" I'm sure it wasn't that I deliberately wanted to forget my birthday because I am getting older and reminded constantly of it when I look into the eyes of my sons and no longer see the child that they used to be, and now see young men well on their way to having a life of their own. Sammy will become a husband and a father, both next year and I couldn't be more happy for him and Dani. As I said before, "she is the joy in his eyes and the love in his heart," and no two people could be more suited for each other as they are. They are going to be wonderful parents. As for Chris! I couldn't help but look at him one night and turn to Sam and tell him how grown up he looks. There are no more signs outwardly that he is that tiny baby that I held so close, or the toddler who would keep me awake for the first two years of his life, every half hour to hour every night, only by some of his actions can I still see that little boy in him. I couldn't be more happy being the age I am right now, even though my sons will say, "Mom, you're getting old!" To me a persons age isn't just a number of how many years they have lived, but how many years they have loved and been loved! Now, some of you may think, "Hey, there are people out there that are miserable and hateful and don't show an ounce of caring." That's where I say that you have to look deeper! Look into their heart! "How do you do that?" you say! It can be heard in their voice, in between some of the words they speak! It can be seen in their eyes, for they are the windows to the soul! Just because a person seems uncaring on the outside doesn't necessarily mean that they are like that on the inside. The most uncaring person in the world has at one point in their life, loved someone so much that it hurt, and has also had someone love them. My life has been one of having very much love in it! I have loved someone so much that it hurts and I know that I have been loved! I believe that you can be in love with more than one person at the same time, which there is nothing wrong with that as long as you don't physically act upon it. If you keep it within your heart and the heart of the other person, it won't hurt the person you are with. Now you say, "What does that have to do with being 48?" Probably nothing to some! But, like I said before, I am happy with the age I have become and look forward to growing older!

June 17, 2003

Wow! It has been an eternity since I have made a journal entry, partially due to being busy with school and also for so many other reasons. Now that summer is here, I will be able to make regular entries to fill you in on my life.

On May 21st of this year, I finally achieved one goal of mine, which was to obtain my Associate of Arts degree from Western Nevada Community College. It was a very long four years, but I did it and I am very proud of myself. The ceremony was very nice, cap and gown and all and afterwards I went out to dinner with my family and future in-law family members of son Sammy's girlfriend Dani. Two days later I became a grandma for the first time and I can't be happier. This is Sam's sixth grandchild! Dani delivered a healthy 8.4 pound, 20 and one half inch boy. He's absolutely beautiful! Landon James made his arrival at 5:07 p.m. The waiting room was full of family and after Landon was cleaned up and wrapped up, he was passed from one person in the room to another. There was not a dry eye in the room! Another blessing was the fact that just days after the birth of Landon, his daddy became a Deputy Sheriff. We never thought we would see the day that Sammy would grow up to be in Law Enforcement. Sure, he had talked about taking classes in Criminal Justice, but the thought of becoming an officer was just not there. We are so very proud of him and so happy for him the way his life is going right now. Next year will find him in the Academy and then he will no doubt start his days out on the streets of our tiny town. A nice article with his picture was printed in our weekly newspaper and I will be sending it to the newspaper in the town we moved from so that it can be printed there as a "Former resident" type of thing so that all his friends he grew up with can see.

October 10, 2004

Seems like the time between writings becomes longer and longer!  My days are so busy that sometimes I lose track of time.  When I looked at the last date that I wrote an entry, I was actually wide eyed with surprise!  In my last entry, I stated that with summer here, I would be able to make regular entries!  Hmmmm!  How wrong I was, huh?

As I look back at the past year, it has been one of many changes!  Our 8.4 pound little grandson, is no longer that little bundle of joy.  He is now 16 months old, as tall as a two year old, and probably weighs approximately 30 to 34 pounds.  He is a walking, talking, happy go lucky, big bundle of joy now and every day with him, we find he is learning something new.  I am still blessed with the fact that I still watch him several days and nights a week and I love it, although, some mornings I would have liked to put knock out drops in his bottle of milk, so that I could have slept all night.  But, all in all, I have survived and I really wouldn't change a thing!

Sammy went to the Academy in February of 2003 and graduated with honors, his whole class did!  He is still currently a jailer until they hire someone else and then he will go on patrol.  He loves his job, but is looking forward to being on the streets.  Another wonderful thing that happened to him last year, was that he and Danielle were married in September and they have already celebrated their first anniversary.  They are both doing very well at work and in life.  We did have a scare with Danielle when she was suffering a lot of pain and was admitted into the hospital on the third of this month and was released on the fifth.  It was determined that she possibly has kidney stones, the kind that will no doubt reoccur.  So far, she is back to work and doing well!

Our son, Chris, graduated from high school this past June, only by the hair of his chinny chin chin!!  We were very proud as we watched him walk down the aisle with his fellow classmates and everyone was in tears, including dad.  Chris said he was fine, until his brother, Sammy, hugged him and said he was proud of him.  Then came the tears and when everyone else saw him crying, everyone else started crying as well.  One of Chris' friends, Tony, moved in with us, the month before graduation and is still with us.  He is very rarely home, like Chris, because he is either at work or with girlfriend, Mackenzie.  Night time will find them in our garage with many other friends, shooting pool and having a good time.

Last September, I enrolled into Western Governors University in Utah, which is an online University.  I was enrolled in the BA and Interdisciplinary Studies, with Teachers' Certification, K-8 until August of this year.  My living angel, if you remember, is my friend Jack in Virginia and last year he told me that I should take a year off before persuing my dream of becoming a teacher.  Well, I guess I should have taken his advice, because I was placed on Financial Aid probation until I could meet my requirements, which of course, I could not.  So, regretfully, I was advised by WGU, to temporarily withdraw!  I did this with many tears and reluctance.  But, when I did, I realized that a very huge weight was lifted from my shoulders!  Within a few weeks, I re-enrolled into the Community College that I graduated from last year and I am taking two classes, in hopes to obtain an additional degree, my Associate of Applied Sciences in Juvenile Justice.  It feels good to be back in school and another wonderful thing that has come out of my withdrawl from WGU, is that I have been able to go to work, something I have thought about doing for a very long time.  I am what I believe, one step closer to my dream of becoming a teacher.  I was hired by the school district here as a Title 1 Aide at the Primary School and also as a Tutor at the Elementary/Middle School.  Receiving these job offers was a dream come true!

June 16, 2005

Time is ever changing and if my life was a soap opera, it would be a part of "Days of Our Lives!"  

A school year has already come and gone, which is hard to believe in itself!  Like a roller coaster ride, so are the days of my life, so many changes, some for the better and some not so much for the better but for growth, not just physical or emotional, but also for the spirit.

As told in my last journal entry, I embarked on a new career, one that I have dreamed about for a very long time, working at the schools here where I live and being able to not only help the kids, but to learn myself as I go.  A few years back I took Math 120, which is Algebra and I did very poorly in it, but working with some of the junior high kids and occasionally the high school kids, I have learned a great deal about Algebra and you know what, it isn't as difficult as I thought it to be.

I have completely enjoyed working this past school year and look forward to the new school year.  I have been asked to come back to do the same jobs and I am very happy about that.  Besides the school jobs, I also embarked on another road of travel, working with kids who have been locked up.  I am also an employee of the Don Goforth Juvenile Resource Center, which is a Juvenile Detention Center or Juvenile Probation Office, otherwise known as JPO.  I am a call-in detention aide and for the past four months, I have enjoyed it very much.  With three jobs and school keeping me busy, not to mention a very active two year old grandson, I have no time to be bored.  My JPO job was for evenings and weekends while I was working my other two, but now that summer is here and the schools are closed, I am receiving more hours there.

School for me is out until sometime in August!  I managed to muddle through, keeping my "B" average and that makes me extremely happy.  Around the time of my last entry, we went through some very hard times here at home.  My 94 year young mother-in-law who came to live with us in December of 1988 was diagnosed with cervical cancer and I myself had to be checked for bladder cancer at the same time.  I am happy to say that my ordeal is overwith and I am fine, but my dear sweet, wonderful mother-in-law became so ill that in April of this year, she passed away quietly in her sleep.  The illness took over her entire body and she grew weaker as time went on.  Losing her has been very difficult to deal with, but we know that she is still with us in so many ways.  She became the mother I had lost in 1995 and I was the daughter she never had.

I am sure that there will be many more changes in my life as each new day dawns and I will grow in so many ways with each one!

July 27, 2005

It amazing to me how time can seem to escape us in the blink of an eye and things that we want to do or need to do can become a thing of the past way too quickly.  I made a "To Do" list and was quite surprised when I found two sides of the notebook paper completely full.  I went from room to room in my house and wrote down everything in each one that needs to be done.  Now, mind you, I live in a five bedroom, two bathroom house.  Actually, I should say a four bedroom house as I use the smallest of five rooms for my office and it contains only my belongings and no one elses.  I have all kinds of things in my little room, two desks, one of course with my computer system on it, a small stand with my Fax/Copier/Scanner on it, two large book cases, one of which is filled with books and the other is filled with all my stuffed animals and my collectible items.  I have a medium size book case filled with books, along with a very small shelf with more books.  I guess you can say that I have books on top of books, some of which I have had since I was ten years old.  I used to be an avid reader but with time drifting by at a very fast speed, reading fell by the wayside and it wasn't until recently that I find myself reading more and more, almost like I did when I was younger.  This doesn't mean that I have more time on my hands, oh, no no no!  It is just that with summer here and my school jobs at an end for the time being, and with my job at the Juvenile Probation Office where I have been working mainly the graveyard shift, I can now sit and read for an extended amount of time and I am loving it!  Anyway, not to keep you off track of what I was trying to say, my "To Do" list should be keeping me very busy, or should I say, would be keeping me very busy if I was actually doing what my list says.  First, to finish about my little room here where only I have say so as to what come in and what doesn't.  I also have a glass doll case with my porcelain dolls and angels and other collectibles, a filing cabinet that has a collection of Nevada dust on it, and I have my "Fainting Couch" that has angels all over it.  I also share my room with my two cats, E-bob and Patches.  I think this is the worst room on my list and will probably take the longest to complete.  I have managed in the past two weeks, to do maybe two or three things on my list and after waking up to a very large trail of nesting ants on my kitchen counters, I have decided that I must get moving on my list and try to do everything on it before school starts again.  The only occupants I want in my house are the two legged human species, you know, spouse, kids, friends and acquaintances and I should add, some four legged creatures as well, but I do not want creepy crawling, multiple legged bugs of any kind if I can help it.  I am hoping that once I start working on my list, that I will want to keep going until all of it is completed.  I figure that if I work on one or two things on my list every day, then I should be done somewhere between now and the end of next month!  Just kidding!  I don't have that much to do, but I am hoping that time somehow slows down so that I can accomplish every task on my list.  I know I will have control of my house once again and if time wants to buzz on by me, so be it!

December 30, 2005

If ever I was aware of how time flies, it is now!  One minute I can be saying that I plan to do this or that or remember that I have a letter to write to a certain person and I will start it and not finish it, only to start a new one and swear that I will get it done this time.  Well, five starts later, I may just get it finished!  I used to be an avid writer of letters to just about everyone all over the world but busy life and also with great procrastination, each one seems to get placed aside for too long of a period.  I think I will make that one of my New Year's resolutions, to keep better in touch with all those that I care about so that they don't think that I dropped off the face of the earth or that I have forgotten them.  I have good intentions, just don't follow through, but this day and every day after it I intend to keep with my resolutions that I make because I realize that life will pass you by in the blink of an eye and you won't realize it until it's too late.

My life is very full and I have very little time to myself anymore!  I am lucky to be able to make an entry here and it is only because my morning job as Title 1 Aide at the Primary School is out for the holiday's and I don't go back until January 4th.  In September I became a full time Detention Aide for the Juvenile Detention Center and I started out with the graveyard shift, working from midnight to 7:50 a.m. and then going directly to the Primary School from 7:50 a.m. to 11:20 a.m.  Currently I am working swing from 4:00 p.m. to midnight.  In between all of this, I was and am still attending Western Nevada Community College and I am also on a break from that until January 23rd.

My kids are no longer kids!  My oldest son Sammy who is married and has a two and a half year old is doing very well for himself and is a great asset to the Sheriff's Department as a Deputy with a very keen eye.  He is now 25 years old!  My son Chris is now 20 years old and is a Prep Cook at the Casino Restaurant.  We have a newcomer to the family, not officially but she is Chris' girlfriend and also someone that I have temporary guardianship of.  Her name is Kayla and she is 17 and your typical teenager with a messy room.  Recently we had a mishap with her and my dog and she wound up at the plastic surgeon but she will be just fine. 

This year has been one of great patience and learning!  With the passing of my mother-in-law and work, school and home, it's a wonder my sanity remains intact.  Well, maybe some people may disagree with me here and say my sanity did not remain intact, but for the most part, things are going semi smoothly.

For this coming year I wish for everyone a very happy and prosperous New Year, one filled with lots of love and hugs!