LAST MODIFIED ON JUNE 13, 2005

Thinking is something that everyone does almost every second of the day, even when they don't realize it. A persons thoughts can make them grow to be a stronger individual both mentally and emotionally.
"A MIND IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE"



WELCOME BACK! ALL IS NOT LOST! Recently, last night as a matter of fact, (Saturday, July 3,2004), I was sent an e-mail from someone who is featured on my "Current Poems" page and said he visited my site and as I quote him, he said, "been kinda quiet there". He couldn't have been more on target with that! He also said, " but I understand you have a lot on your platter". Right on target once more! A few other things that he said was, "I've been there in the recent past but did not post in the guestbook (although he did last night)...Remember, you come first in life and make sure that you look out for yourself...ya gotta be able to take care of yourself! Your goal must be getting to that point". On this last part about me coming first in life and looking out for and taking care of myself, he is not alone with that comment. I have been told that by several people as a matter of fact and the old saying goes, "You're never too old to change", although some would disagree with that because of the saying, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks". Well, I am here to say, that is not true! My life is about constant changes, every day! Sometimes it takes a good slap in the face (not literally) to wake me up! Every person that has told me I need to think of me, has only my best interests at heart and I thank them from the bottom of my heart! The slap in the face hit me last night, when at 3:30 in the morning, I was still up and composing my latest poem, which can be found on my "Current Poems" page. I realized for the first time that I needed to do something for myself for a change, not that I don't love and enjoy doing things for others, but I usually put everyone first, before myself, which is not a bad thing, but I have let so many things get in the way of something that I love to do, something that gives me passion in life, my poetry! It had been seven months since I last composed a poem. I started many, but set them aside because I had other responsibilities to take care of and it wasn't until last night, in the quiet peacefulness of my house, when everyone was asleep, that the words began to flow. My mind was going at a fast pace and it didn't take long for the right words to come out and to be put down on paper. Most who know me, know that I am a full time student at a University, a full time wife, a full time mother, and a full time grandmother to a very active one year old little boy who I adore and love to take care of and, with day to day life, they also know that with all of these things, certain problems can arise that can put one's life at a hault. I stopped writing poetry, my schooling fell behind and I was placed on Academic Probation and I became wrapped up in what I call "a pity parade". In writing my latest poem, entitled, "Holding My Hand", I realized that if I stop doing what I love the most in life, the one thing that gives me passion, which is my poetry, I am nothing but an empty shell, just existing, and that isn't me! I am so much more than a full time wife, mother, and grandmother! I have the potential to change lives, to give a part of me that I didn't see in myself, but others did! I am in total "awe" of how well people know me, even more than I know myself and that can be a very scary thing, but, at the same time, a very useful tool. My eyes have been opened for the first time in a very long time. In simply writing the poem that I wrote last night, I have given myself (along with a several others encouragement and support) the motivation that I needed so desperately to allow myself to work harder than ever to catch up on my schoolwork, to fulfill a dream that I thought was going by the wayside, and that is to be a certified teacher, and not only that, but to continue writing my poems, my thoughts, my journal entries, all of which has suffered greatly because of my "pity parade" and my life as an individual has also suffered greatly because I have not taken time for myself. This is no longer an issue! I am taking control of my life now, and I will continue to make time for myself to do whatever it is that I need to do, to relax, to heal my body of so much pain that it is physically going through, to heal my mind emotionally of any anger or bitterness that it is holding deep inside, and to heal myself spiritually through prayer and through my poetry, so that my heart can rest and know that this is my life and no one can take care of it, but me! I lead a very busy life, where there is never a dull moment in my house, which is filled with family, and friends of my youngest son and those of a another teen that lives with us, and although I will still have all the responsibilities of every day life, I am willing to make changes and I will honestly be able to say, that "ALL IS NOT LOST", for I am still here, and I am a survivor. I can say to myself, "WELCOME BACK". Thank you, to all those who had a part in helping me see that I need to take care of myself. I could list them all by name, but, I won't, for you "all" know who you are!

"GROW OLD ALONG WITH ME! THE BEST IS YET TO BE" -ROBERT BROWNING-

REAL OR NOT REAL!!

What if everything we grew up with that we believed were fairy tales was true and that our real life as we believe we are living is actually not real!  What if our fairy tales was our escape for what happens bad in life and gives us hope for all that's gone wrong!  I think that is a very good thought!  Can you imagine the hope there would be for those who have lost their way in life and have no reason to go on but for that which they fantasize in their minds and believes is real.   (TO BE CONTINUED)

"GREAT LIFE IF YOU DON'T WEAKEN"
June 13, 2005

The above quote was said almost daily by a most wonderful woman, my mother-in-law! (THIS IS JUST A START AND I WILL CONTINUE TO ADD MORE AS I CAN)

SONG PLAYING: "CANDLE IN THE WIND"