My Journal



5/20/01 (If anyone wonders why this date does not go in order with all the others, it's because it is my original entry and will remain on "My Journal")
My mind seems to be moving at a faster pace than what I can keep up with it! I am continuously amazed by life in the desert, its many colors and many changes it goes through. Staring out at the mountains that surround us, I try to imagine what kind of life exists in this vast dry land that seems to have no end. It is easy to become lost when exploring the many roads and trails that weave their way in and around the hills. You can almost drive forever, and each turn will bring you to something more beautiful than the last.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank someone whom I have known for more than half of my life, (makes us sound old, but we really aren't!) -;) His name is Don Herzig and the beautiful sunset picture to the right belongs to him. He has been doing photography for quite some time and even has some of his photo's in a gallery. He is a great person and I dearly love him. I am sorry to say that he does not have a web site that I can link to from my site, but, if he did, it would surely be there. I hope to use more of his photo's in the future.  I am hoping to convince him to let me make a page for his photography only!  Wish me luck!

February 22, 2008

Wow!  The time goes by entirely too quickly for me these days but that is the way life goes!

It has only been five months since I last wrote an entry and that you can find on "Previous Journal 4" because once a page becomes full I just make a new one, oh the wonders of technology today.  It seems like everything is done on computers these days, sometimes makes it easier and at times it can be very confusing to those who haven't quite grasped that knowledge.  I for one love my computer because I have met so many people over the years and I have also been able to keep in touch with people from my high school years which seems like eons ago.  I would like to say the year started out very well but within a few weeks life changed.  The Juvenile Detention Center where I work was booming with kids and it really is unfortunate that it takes bad kids to keep us working but that is how things work.  My husband Sam who was also working there was laid off in January along with three others so that is where life has changed for us.  The good news is that if our population picks up with juveniles then he will be the first to be hired back so we are hoping for the best.  Right now, those that are left working are doing one eight hour shift and six twelve hour shifts in a pay period.  Although the hours are long, the days off are great!  One week we have three days off and the second week we have four days off which makes it nice for just relaxing or doing errands or whatever the case may be.

My grandson Landon is growing like a weed!  He will be five in May but at his last checkup a few months back he measured at three foot nine inches tall and weighed 50 pounds.  The sad thing here is that when I was in the fourth grade I only measured in at three foot tall.  Landon is a constant amazement to us, how he grows and changes and how he thinks.  We are always amazed to see how smart he is when he plays video games, even when he was only three years old.  He will be five soon and is currently in Pre School and loves it!  He has the temper from both sides of the family so he isn't going to be afraid to let people know what he thinks.

 

September 21, 2008

Time is something that puzzles me each and every day!  One day disappears and another one is there to replace it and we wonder what happened to the day that passed.  Did we do everything we could to make it enjoyable or did we do the opposite?  Recently I was asked to switch shifts where I work and because I am not one for complaining about what hours I've been given, I simply accept it.  Because of the shift change I must now rearrange my schedule at home because where I was sleeping before, I will now be awake and at work.  I am easily adaptable though so it shouldn't be a problem, right?  Well, since it is now October 6th and I have come back to finish my journal entry, I have to say that the first week was hard and the second week was a little bit more difficult only because we had a Take Down class to do over the weekend.  Thank goodness our schedules were rearranged to accommodate us and we weren't working an eight or twelve hour day and then having to do an eight hour class.  I do have to say though that my muscles are just a little bit sore!  Have you ever had to put a headlock or do a full nelson on someone who is probably about five or six inches (possibly more) taller than you?  Well, I am here to tell you that it isn't all that easy unless of course the person bends over for you but let's face it, what criminal, juvenile or other is going to stop long enough to bend over for you just so you can put them in a headlock?  I am glad it is over for at least another year though!  I don't think that I would want to have to take this class twice a year.  I did find out one thing and that was that I am really in poor physical shape, oh my goodness, and nothing that a few days a week at the gym wouldn't cure.  Now, all I have to do is figure out how to arrange that time into my already busy schedule, eight hours a day, five days a week at work, full time school, family and errands also.  I guess if I really want to get into shape I will find a way to do it!

 

February 18, 2009

Time seems to be the topic of my journal entries anymore because it has been five months since I have made an entry and it always amazes me how fast time slips by in a blink of an eye.  Sometimes I believe that because time passes us by so quickly that we lose sight of what is really important to us.  There are two quotes about time that are so true, "Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey.  It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again.  What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived." (CAPTAIN JEAN-LUC PICARD, played by Patrick Stewart, from the film "Star Trek: Generations").  The other is, "Lost, yesterday, somewhere between Sunrise and Sunset, two golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes.  No reward is offered, for they are gone forever."  (HORACE MANN)  I think that everyone can look back on their lives and wonder what they did and whether or not they did the best they could.  Did we tell the people important in our every day lives that we love them.  Did we smile at a stranger we met on the street or in the store, did we give someone encouragement that they so desperately needed at that moment in time.  We all have the gift of love and friendship and all it takes is one word, "Hi" to make someone's day.  Who would have thought that one little word would carry so much weight.  I've seen the most serious of people smile when I spoke just that one word.  Can you imagine the domino affect there would be if we just said "Hi" to that passing stranger.  It can encourage them to say hello to the next person they see and that person will go on to say hello to another, and so forth.  It doesn't take much!

 

February 28, 2010

It always amazes me how fast time goes by!  It seems like I just started the previous topic but it is a year old already!  Again with time, it seems to be passing me right by and I sometimes wonder what happened to yesterday.  With work and other things I seem to do which does not include housework although it should, my days are busy.  With being on twelve hour shifts at work it seems that all I want to do on my days off is sit on the couch in my jammies and just relax and if I don't have to go anywhere that makes an even better day.  Actually, I think that staying in my jammies and sitting on the couch is not a bad thing at all.  I'm all for being comfortable and if I don't have to get dressed, I won't.  Nowadays, you can go to the store in your jammies and slippers and no one says anything.  Sometimes it gives you time to just reflect on the events of the day and put everything in perspective that you think might have gone the wrong way.  It's okay to relax now and then and enjoy the moment. 

 

June 19, 2011

It has been more than a year since I have edited my site or added anything new to it so I figured it was about time that I do this!  Looking back at dates I didn't realize that I have had this site for ten years already, doesn't seem like it has been that long.  My site has been down for quite some time, my fault for not paying my bill but easily fixed.  I intend to keep it maintained and hopefully to add more poetry since it has been a very long time for that as well

My husband Sam of 32 years had his 66th birthday on the 16th and last night we had a party for him.  We had lots of friends and family here, neighbors, coworkers and it was a lot of fun.  We had a BBQ with lots of food and drink and of course a yummy ice cream cake.  There were about 30 people who showed up and hopefully they all had a good time.  I took two extra days off work to go with my days off which has been nice. 

I look at the ages we have become and the years that have gone by and each one becomes more and more important, more precious.  I look at my sons and see the men they have become, Sammy with his wife Danielle and their son Landon who just turned eight in May, Chris and Sonja who will be married a year next month and expecting their first baby in December.  Both my sons have grown to be good men, not always getting along with each other but nonetheless they are brothers and are stuck with each other.  Sammy is seriously thinking about going to Afghanistan to work, doing what he does best and that is being a Deputy Sheriff.  I personally don't think he should go but that is not our decision to make, it's his.  I know the money is good but I am hoping that deep down he will change his mind because we worry that something might happen to him.  We don't always see him very much due to his work schedule and mine so having everyone together last night meant a lot.  I took some nice photos, crazy photos, fun photos.  When I see how time passes us by without us even realizing it, it constantly reminds me that life is so precious and every moment spent together is a gift.

 

July 17, 2012

Eleven years ago in June I had surgery on my left shoulder for rotator cuff repair.  I had full rotation of my arm after the surgery and have been doing really good these past years.  Little did I know that all that would change in just a matter of seconds.  I have a new job after resigning from the Juvenile Probation Department where I worked one month short of seven years.  I applied at the Sheriff's Department in January and got the job as Dispatcher.  It is a very challenging job but I have been enjoying it very much and I am still currently going to school, although I haven't been doing all that well with my grades and I am currently on Academic Probation.  Well, after working so many hours, sometimes 80 in a week I got a vacation but not one I actually arranged.  I was put on medical leave by the doctor because on June 10th after reaching up to turn on my swamp cooler, I caught my foot on the couch cover that I had seen earlier sagging and told myself I would fix later because I had already tripped on it and well, I tripped on it once again but this time I didn't just stumble, I went flying and landed on my right knee very hard and then came down on my left shoulder.  I heard something crack in my arm and I sat up and was going to try to get up.  I went to move my left arm and it just flopped so I knew then that something was very wrong.  So, here I am all alone and my phone is quite a ways away from me.  I knew I couldn't get up because I couldn't kneel and push myself up with my arms.  About four days earlier Sam, Sammy, Danielle and Landon left for Oregon to see our granddaughter graduate high school.  Chris and Sonja were at the grocery store.  My neighbor Kenny had just left my house after helping me put in a new float in the cooler.  With no way of reaching my phone, the only other option was to scoot on my butt to the door and scoot out on to the porch.  Luckily, my neighbor Kenny was outside in his yard so I hollered for him.  I sounded like that commercial, "Help, I've fallen and can't get up!"  Kenny came running across the street and I told him what happened and asked him to call Chris and Sonja to take me to the hospital.  Turns out, I broke my shoulder and was put in an immobilizer until I could get an appointment with the bone specialist, the same one that did my rotator cuff.  At the emergency room I was first told that the X-rays showed my shoulder was dislocated and fractured and I possibly might need surgery.  Again, turned out it was just broken and needed to heal on its own.  It was and still is very painful but I can raise my arm a little more than half way for the most part and then there are times I can't raise it even half way.  I am still to be out of work until July 28th and I go back to the doctors on July 26th.  Hopefully, I will be back to work around the 29th or so.  I am just getting to where I can type and use the shift bar with my left hand even though my hand doesn't always do what I want it to do.  I am very thankful that it wasn't anything more serious but I can tell you one thing, I am very afraid of falling again. 

On a brighter note, on December 20th of 2011, we had a new addition to our family.  Our son Chris who got married in 2010, now has a little boy who is almost seven months old.  His name is also Chris and he is the cutest baby ever!  He had a rough start with a heart murmur and ended up having to have a ballooning procedure to force open one of his valves that was malformed.  He is perfectly healthy and growing like a weed and is perfect!

Sam celebrated another birthday when he got back from Oregon and we had his 67th birthday party out in our garage and there were lots of friends and family to help us celebrate.

Life has been good and we have all been blessed!

 

September 16, 2012

Life is forever throwing a curve ball!  I guess that is just a part of life and whether or not we like it, things happen.  I just got over being very sick from tonsillitis, a sinus infection and a very bad case of bronchitis.  In fact, I am at work this very moment and it is my first day back to work since being sick.  Besides being sick we have mourned the loss of a great man, Bob Saltalamachia.  He was a good man, had a heart of gold and would do anything for you.  He was the Karate Sensei to my two sons as they were growing up and who turned over his Karate Studio to my son Sammy at the age of 14.  This man had a part in how my sons turned out, two very special and very talented men who have families of their own now.  Sidekick Sammy and Grasshopper will forever hold him in their hearts, as will their dad and I.

At times when life is throwing these curve balls, it seems like it might just keep on going with washers breaking down, with demands of bills which of course is never ending.  There are times when I want to cry and I wonder what to do next, but then I think, it could be worse.  It is times like this that remind me that no matter what the burden is that we carry or how tough life seems to be, everything has a reason and it will all work out in the end.  Life goes on and we adjust and go with the flow!  When you go with the flow, it's like the waves of the ocean tide, you move with them, not against them.  For when we move with the waves, we are guaranteed to reach the other side and not be dragged down to the bottom.

 

September 17, 2012

It is 3:54 a.m... and I am once again at work.  I have spent the last hour or more reviewing my website and looking at the poetry I have written in the past.  It has been a very long time since I wrote a poem.  I don't know if it is because I haven't been inspired to do so or if it is because I have been so busy, busy with life, with work, with school or whatever else came my way.  I do know that I would like to write another poem and I have a few in the back of my mind.  I think that in the quiet of the night at home is where I am most inspired, when my husband is sleeping, my dog is finally settled down and my four cats have somewhat settled down but not as much as during the day since night time is when they like to play.  We have a beautiful lake just north of our town and I have been trying to write a poem about it for a very long time but because I want it to be perfect, it hasn't been written yet.  My thoughts are to go sit on the shore of one of the beaches and just breathe in the clean fresh air and let my mind wander as far as it can go until just those right words come to mind.  I do have a few poems that I started so long ago and never finished that I could also complete.  Poetry at one time consumed by soul, my mind and heart and that is all I thought of doing but with each passing day something else takes me away and then poetry gets put on the back burner so to say.  I do plan to write more, just so everyone knows.  I know there are quite a few people who used to come to my site to read my poetry or my journal entries and also my thoughts that I would write down.  I also know there are a few that came to visit and found a special place in my heart and there are several that have since passed on and left this world for a better place.  I think about these special people often and I miss them a lot.  Although I don't think of them every day, they are still very much in my heart and always will be.  They may be my inspiration!

 

December 3, 2012

Well, here it is almost to the end of another year!  I am happy to say that I have made it through another birthday and an anniversary, all in the same month.  On November 4th, Sam and I celebrated 34 years of marriage.  It has not always been easy.  The roads have been up and down with a few curves and road blocks here and there like any other marriage, but, it is a good marriage, a happy one.  Sam now owes me 27 years because he promised me before we got married that we would be together for 61 years.  So, I am holding him to it!

On November 25th, I turned 58, hard to believe!  I was surprised with a night out the night before my birthday and the evening of my birthday we went to our oldest son's house and had pizza and my daughter-in-law Danielle made me a cake.  Our youngest son and his wife were also there.  It was a nice evening spent with those I love the most, my husband Sam, our son Sammy, his wife Danielle, our grandson Landon, our son Christopher, his wife Sonja, and our grandson Christopher II, couldn't have asked for a better birthday!

As I look at how time flies by with the blink of an eye, I am always amazed and thankful for what we have.  I am content with my life, love my job as dispatcher at the Sheriff's Department and hope to have many more birthdays and many more anniversaries.

 

December 25, 2012

Well, here it is Christmas already, the year almost over and a new year coming our way!  Sometimes I wish that time could slow down, just a little bit at least. 

I spent yesterday after work, getting ready for my son Sammy and his wife Danielle and little boy Landon to come over and open their gifts since everyone is going their own way this year, Sammy at our house and Danielle and Landon at her Uncle's house.  My son Chris and his wife Sonja and little boy Christopher also came over to exchange gifts with Sammy and Danielle.  They too will be spending the day elsewhere but will be over later on to open their gifts.  After Sammy, Danielle and Landon left to have dinner at another family members house, I cooked dinner for Sam and I and Chris and Sonja and our grandson Christopher.  Watching baby Chris eat is a joy, growls like a little bear when he wants more and to watch him walk is so much fun.  He's on a mission when he is walking and what a tease.  He will walk towards you to hand you something and then just as you reach for whatever it is he is handing you, he turns around and goes the other way.  It's been a year since he had his heart procedure and he is growing and doing wonderful and just celebrated his first birthday.

I look back on this year and it is hard to believe that next month I will be here at the Sheriff's Dept. for a year.  It has been a good year, a productive one.  We did lose someone we loved, my Aunt Pauline.  She will be missed!

I believe I am in my last year of school, hoping that is!  I seem to end up having to repeat a class here and there now and then which extends my graduation date.  I hope to do much better in the January term.

This will be short and sweet but filled with love as I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas!  I wish everyone the best holiday and year to come, filled with many blessings and good health!  Until I write again, keep the faith, keep a smile on your face and love in your heart!

 

July 13, 2013

 "Dance like the photo’s not being tagged. Love like you’ve never been unfriended. Sing like nobody’s following. Share like you care. And do it all like it won’t end up on youtube!"

It is hard to believe that so much time passes by when you get busy with other things.  It has been a year and a half now that I have been working as a Dispatcher at the Sheriff's Department and I still love working there.  I learn something new every day and it constantly amazes me how much there is still to learn.  There isn't anything that I am unable to do but there are times when I do forget something now and then.  For the next three months or possibly six months I will be on grave yard which I don't mind at all.

Once again I found myself reading my poetry and looking back at so many things.  I no longer wonder "what if" but I do look back and can say to myself that I was loved.  I've had a good life filled with tears and laughter and I don't think I would change any of it if I could.  I'm at a point in my life where I am comfortable and content.

I love the above quote and what I get from it is that when you dance or sing or share something, it doesn't matter if anyone is watching you.  We should do things that we love and that makes us happy and who cares who is watching.  I am sure I look a little crazy at 6:00 a.m... when I get off work and put my oldies but goodies music on and turn it way up.  I sing my heart out at times while I am driving home.  Do what makes you happy and live like you're dying and have no time to waste.  When someone gets upset with you, don't let it eat at you, smile instead and know that it probably wasn't anything that you did, but that the person getting upset is unhappy themselves.  Give them your smile, the one that you know will melt any heart.  Life is way to short and looking at my sons and their families tells me this, not only that but also the gray hair on my head or the wrinkles in my skin.  It doesn't take a lot to make me happy.  As long as I have my family and friends (old and new) I am content with life and happy in the here and now.  Everyone has a choice to be happy or sad.  Life doesn't have to make you sad, even in the worst of times.  If you hit bottom and you are still standing, then life is worth living and that alone is something to smile about because there is only one direction to go once you have hit bottom, and that is back up.  Share that smile with someone else, someone who may need it worse than you.  This sounds more like a thought than a journal entry, but for me, it belongs right where I am writing it.

 

November 17, 2013

Well, It's been a few months and so much has happened on the home front...at work...with life in general!  Seems I have some decisions to make that can be life changing to say the least, not just for me but for everyone concerned.  They have nothing to do with my marriage...that is as sound as it has ever been.  These decisions do have to do with where I may be living within the next month or so...which of course is a very big decision to make.  For one thing I do not want to move and we don't have to but it might be something that is better for our family. (to be cont.)

 

January 1, 2014

Each time I post on my journal and it is a new year, I always say how the year just flew by.  It seems like each year flies by faster than the one before.  2013 was not such a bad year considering, but only for the fact that our oldest son Sammy was injured on duty and is now on leave from work for about six months now.  The year was not so good to him and his family but hopefully this year will be a brand new start for them in a different house, one that will be financially better for them and also because he is due to have surgery on his back soon.  If this is the worst that happens to them, then I think they are lucky.  I know that not receiving work pay is hard on them but they will come through it with flying colors in the end.

Our son Chris is out of work for two weeks but only due to the holidays.  This happens every year at the Base where he works.  Their little boy just turned two and what a hand full he is.  I thought that Chris and Sammy had energy when they were little but baby Chris is really something else.  He doesn't walk much, he runs every where like he needs to get where he is going right now.  He skips also and that is the funniest thing to watch.

JPO closed down and it put about 14 people out of work.  Sam, however, still has a job there doing transports for juveniles and that he likes!  Most of his transports take him to Gardnerville and Tonopah and Fallon as well.  He likes the driving but comes home very tired when he ends up with a 12 hour day of driving.

I hope that this year brings everyone what they hope for, for the new year, one filled with love of their friends and family.  It is my hope to start writing poetry again because it has been a very long time since I have posted a poem.  I have one more class to take and I will have my Bachelor of Science in Criminal Justice and then I will go on to get my MBA hopefully.  I have been going to school for such a long time and my goals are at least in sight now.

So...anyone out there that has had a tough past year, keep your head up and eyes forward.  You can make anything happen if you put your mind to it!

 

February 15, 2014

So...here it is another month gone by and I am sure that this one will zoom by faster than last month considering it is a very short month.

I am sitting here at work and I just posted my website on Facebook and hopefully I will get some visitors soon.  In the past I have had so many people visit and almost all of them got something from one of my pages that lifted their spirits.  When I started my website, I had planned to only have my poetry on it but I expanded it so much further.  My hopes were just to give people a little lift in spirit for those who were feeling down or just needed somewhere to go to dream and feel at ease through what I wrote.  I am a very optimistic person and I don't let much get me down and I like to try to spread that optimism to others.  Not everyone likes to read poetry but even some who don't like poetry have left my site a little happier, a little more upbeat....maybe even a little more optimistic....who knows!

Yesterday was Valentine's Day and my hubby took me to dinner the night before and gave me a box of candy and a really nice card.  I hope that everyone had a great day and got to share it with someone they love!

 

April 18, 2014

A few things have happened in the past two months, some good and some not so good.  Sammy had his back surgery and is coming along really well and hopefully will be back on duty soon.  The not so good news is that he and his wife Danielle have temporarily separated but are working to get their marriage back on track.  Chris and his wife Sonja gave us some very good news and she is expecting another baby.  Life has its ups and downs but no matter how bad things get, if you put your mind to it, everthing will work out the way it should.

 

January 10, 2015

I am completely amazed at how fast time goes by and how things change in life, in my own life especially!  I write this now with so many emotions coming out, so many that I feel: sadness, anger, among others.  I have always been the most optimistic person around and always had good to say about everyone, always giving people the benefit of the doubt, always forgiving them for the wrong they have done, always smiling and knowing things will be okay.  But, now I see that change is something that is always going to happen whether we want it to or not and no matter how we try to keep things as they are, it isn't going to happen.  The last year has been one of the hardest years we have gone through since about 1986.  As mentioned in my previous entry, my son Sammy and wife Danielle were separated for a short period of time and I am happy to say that things couldn't be better with them.  Each one of us in the family has gone through some kind of change, but it all mostly comes down to the same ordeal that the whole family has gone through the past year. 

It is said that people come in and out of your lives for a reason and it is not always good reasons, at least not to me!  We had one particular person come into our lives that I can only describe in one word "devil" and I don't mean Satan himself, although he does come to mind when I think of this one person.  I actually call him "El Diablo" which is spanish for "The Devil" and there are many who would agree with that.  I cannot and will not go into detail what this person has done but I will say that he has turned my family's lives upside down.  We don't know if things will ever be the same or not again, but the one thing we do know is that as a family, we will stick together and we will weather any storm that comes our way.  My kids come from strong stock and my husband and I come from strong stock as well!  We are hoping that this new year brings us all much hope and more faith than last year and that we can one day look back at last year and know that it was just a bad dream.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 






SONG PLAYING: "CAN I HOLD YOU"